The Resumption... maybe

 I just rediscovered that I have this blog. I love it. I may have to resume talking to myself in pixels. 

We'll see if I have something to say...

Daniel 4

God had a plan for Nebby and He was not about to let the man get away with rejecting Him.

See, as we read ahead, God had more plans for Daniel. It was through this miraculous story of Nebuchadnezzar's fall and return to sanity that he and his household were saved. We see his daughter recounting this story to her son, the new king, when he was faced with a similar encounter from God.

I LOVE that God will not let us go. He has a plan for our lives. He may send us to some pretty horrible places, but like our previous chapter shows, He is right there in the fire with us. He is faithful and fulfilled his promise to restore the kingdom to Nebby. And He will be faithful to me.

Daniel 3

One of my favorite stories in the Bible.

Shadrach, Meshack and Abed-nego are sentenced to the fiery furnace as punishment for not worshipping the golden statue of Nebby. (I guess he figured that if he was the head of gold, he could change the story and make himself the whole body of gold - that's another post.)

The best part is in verses 16-18 where they display their absolute trust in God to deliver them. Yet it is followed by, "But if not..." Don't you love the kind of faith that completely trusts God to deliver us, yet still trusts Him when He doesn't appear to be coming to our rescue. Faith that says I trust you even if... that says circumstances are not the basis of my trust, You are. They trusted God because they knew Him. Whether they were thrown into the fire or not, they knew God was still God.

What amazing faith!

And how were they rewarded? Jesus himself went into the fire with them. BEAUTIFUL! Rather than avoid the fire, they encountered Jesus in a most real and personal fashion. Isn't that exactly what he wants for us? Real encounters, not just some superficial relationship with a faith that's never been tested.

Daniel 2

Upon hearing the dream of the multi-metallic statue and the interpretation, Nebuchadnezzar praises God. But as we learn in Chapter 3, Nebby did not actually decide to serve God, rather he only heard what he wanted to hear. He focused on the "I am the head of GOLD" part of the vision and not the "God sets up and takes down rulers" part.

We do this, too. We hear from God and take out what we want to hear. How often are we convicted of something through the Holy Spirit and then turn that conviction on another. We say, "Yes, I shouldn't have gossipped, but you know who really gossips, God? Let me tell you..." Or we feel the urging of the Holy Spirit to read our Bibles and then condemn those who don't.

I need to be careful to hear all that God is saying. I cannot just take one part and run with it. If I ignore the whole counsel of God, I become like old Nebby. I can praise God, but I am not serving Him.

Daniel 1

My Uncle Kent is using his blog to go through and comment on Scripture. Much like I wanted this blog to be originally. While I am still reading the Bible daily, I have definitely let this blog slip as I run out of time to reflect on what I just read. I'm thinking it's New Year's Resolution time!

Anyways, we are reading Daniel right now. So here is my take-away on chapter 1:

I think a central lesson in this chapter is that we can stand up for what is right, as Daniel and his friends did when they refused to eat the king's meat and drink his wine, and trust God with the consequences. I don't mean we condemn others. Daniel and his friends did not point fingers at and harrass the young men who continued to eat and drink at the king's table. Rather, they took a personal stand and said that although others may choose to act one way, we won't. They looked in the mirror and made sure what they saw was pleasing to God.

We see that God rewarded their faithfulness.

Numbers 15 (Part Two) - Burning out by doing good

This chapter has a very serious warning I think we overlook too easily.

There was a man gathering sticks on the Sabbath. Although work on the Sabbath was prohibited, picking up some sticks hardly seems a serious infraction. And yet, much of the Old Testament is a picture of what God will fulfill in the New Testament through Jesus.

Jesus came to be our Sabbath rest. It is in Him that we are to find ourselves refreshed and revitalized. Because of Jesus death, we no longer have to work to obtain God's favor. We can rest in His work, it is finished. This goes against everything in me that wants to do more, accomplish more, work harder in order to be approved by God. I simply cannot imagine Him loving me for just me. There has to be more that I can do to show Him I am worthy.

So this poor man worked on the Sabbath. He gathered sticks to light a fire. Maybe his family was cold. Maybe his neighbors needed the heat. Maybe he was just being a nice guy, stepping up. Maybe he wanted to be thought of as helpful, someone you could count on.

He ended up being stoned to death.

The fire he sought to light ended up burning him instead. He did not follow the direction of God. He did not rest. He messed up God's picture of being saved through faith, not works. He went out on his own, doing something ostensibly good, and got burned.

There's a lesson in there somewhere...

Numbers 15 (Part One) - God still has a plan

This chapter starts out with, "When ye be come into the land of your habitations..." When. Isn't that a beautiful word - when. God sentenced this complaining, faithless generation to wander the desert for forty years, but He was still going to fulfill His plan.

I know I can delay, mess up, stall God's plan by my own shortcomings, but God is so amazing. He WILL see His plan for my life come to fruition.

Numbers 14 (Part Two) - Giving me something to complain about

The Israelites worst fears and complaints came true. They were destined to die in the desert.

God says He heard their murmuring and says, As ye have spoken in mine ears, so will I do to you.

That's SCARY! God says if I complain, He will give me something to complain about. It certainly makes me want to be VERY careful when I complain, even to my husband. I so want at least one person to whom I can spill all my worries and criticism.

Yet this story certainly gives me pause...

Numbers 14 (Part One) - Standing in the gap

After the people of Israel accepted the report of the ten spies and fell to bemoaning and bewailing their fate, they sought to overthrow Moses and Aaron. God revealed to Moses what they deserved - total annihilation. Yet Moses fell on his face and interceded for the people.

Although it appears that Moses changed God's mind, it was actually God who gave an intercessors heart to Moses. Ezekiel 22:30 describes Moses as the man God chose to stand in the gap. God revealed to Moses what we deserve for our sins, but He also revealed His mercy and grace. Moses, rather than changing God's mind, saw God's heart.

So too, I need to recognize the tug at my heart to intercede for others. It is so much easier to judge and be harsh with others, to point out to God all they are doing wrong. But then God says, You're right, here's what they deserve. And He reveals what I also deserve. I have found this usually leads to me praying for us both!

Thank you God for softening my hard, judgemental heart. Create an intercessors heart in its place.

Numbers 13 - Bless what I am about to do

Moses sends out the 12 spies to go into the Promised Land and report back. This turned out to be a disastrous decision and led to 40 more years wandering in the desert. Yet in verse 1, it appears that God is the one telling Moses to send out the spies... what gives?

Well, the rest of the story is told in Deuteronomy 1:22-24. It seem the people were scared and nervous about entering this new land. They begged Moses to send in the spies first. Moses thought that sounded rights and so assented.

Apparently the people pressured Moses into this decision. Without consulting God, he went ahead and made the decision, and God turns around and says, Fine, if you want to send out spies, go ahead.

How many times do we embark on a path that seems right, and once we are on our way, ask God if this is the right thing to do? We want Him to bless the mess we are creating. We go back to God and say, This is the right thing to do, isn't it. Stop me if it isn't... Yet sometimes, God lets us continue.

I need to develop a mechanism by which I seek God before every decision, because many times, not only will He not "bless my mess" but I may end up with disastrous results.

"Doing", "going" or "being"

Stuff Christians Like has an excellent post today. It mirrors exactly what I have been thinking. I considered putting it here word-for-word, but decided to expound on my own thoughts.

I have been worried a lot lately as I see the church struggle with what I believe is an almost works-based salvation. We are constantly being told we need to "go" and "do". We must go... somewhere... and do... something for God or we are fat, lazy Christians. Get off your butt, people!

But I believe we have it exactly backwards and it hurts my heart everytime I see a fellow Christian exhorting us to "go", "do". What we need are Christians fully committed to Christ, to making Him Lord, to submitting to Him, to trusting Him, to listening to His voice, to worshipping Him, to becoming the person He wants us to be.

He doesn't NEED us to go and do anything. He's GOD! But rather, He invites to help, like a father invites his child to help wash the car. It makes the car messier and it takes longer to get the job done, but in the process, dad is teaching, molding, bonding, modeling, and loving his child. Someday, the child gets better at washing cars, or maybe not, but the relationship and the memories of washing the car with dad are priceless.

Does that mean we aren't supposed to serve? Of course we will oftentimes find ourselves serving God in one way or another, but it will be because He called us and invited us to join Him. He knows exactly what needs to be done and who is the best person to do it. I trust Him to speak to the person He wants to serve, and I trust Him whether that person is me or if He is telling me to wait before jumping in.

Feeling burnt out? I don't believe burn out is inevitable. But it certainly is unavoidable if we are "going" and "doing" without the call and direction of God. Jesus said, "My meat is to do the will of the Father." Pressing into God, hearing His voice, following His path, doing what He says, or just resting in His presense, that is the will of God. It is the only thing that will sustain and nourish our souls, not some big cause or work.

Coincidence?

Last week, two interesting headlines appeared side by side in my newpaper:

Opening Up Heaven: Poll finds more Americans expect people from a diversity of faiths to find a welcome

Megachurches evolve while continuing to grow

The first article highlighted a growing trend among Americans to believe there are many paths to heaven. The second highlighted the growth of attendance at megachurches and their evolving methods of spreading their message.

Now this is no knock on megachurches, but I found it interesting that at the same time that we see church membership growth, we also find an increasing lack of solid theological beliefs. Any good researcher would have to do further study to see if it is causal or correlational. That is, is one causing the other? Are churches causing the theological beliefs to change in a negative direction or are people flocking to solid churches as they see many people around them being caught up in heresies? I don't know. I hope it's the latter. Or, it could be purely coincidental.

The poll did find that those who attend these large churches are more likely to tithe, attend worship services weekly, and believe that heaven and hell absolutely exist than the general public. So that's good news.

But I have to wonder if churches, in their attempts to grow and attract more people, are letting some of the foundational truths of the gospel slip to the sidelines. If they are not, they need to at least be cognizant of the fact that America is rapidly becoming a melting pot of religious ideas and if the voice of truth is not carried out loudly and clearly, many wonderful, good-intentioned people will be led astray. It's not enough to get them in the door if you are not going to disciple them and lead them into a genuine relationship with Jesus Christ. A growing church, full of people following their own hodge podge blend of spirituality, is a tragedy of eternal consequence.

Numbers 12

Numbers 12:3 (Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.)

Apparently, Moses was the most humble man on earth. We know this because he told us so. And, he was not surpassed until Jesus came on the scene.

Now, this humility intrigues me. My first thought was how did he get so humble? Then I realized the answer: 40 years in the dessert.

Moses started out with an amazing resume. God had placed him in Pharaoh's court. He had the wealth, the education, the status, and the visibility to be the perfect leader for the rebellion. He must have also had a noticeable physical presence because he killed an Egyptian slave driver, someone I am sure took pride in being able to defend himself against anyone who might challenge him.

Moses felt like his whole life had led up to this point. He was ready to start the revolution with himself at the helm. But the long awaited revolt sputtered out, leaving Moses rejected and humiliated. So off into the dessert he goes.

Fast forward 40 years and we see Moses begging God to leave him out of the whole "slave-freeing debacle". He'd already been humbled and humiliated once, he couldn't take it again. But it was through exactly that kind of meekness that God wanted to showcase His power.

I love how God works. To the things we think are our strengths, He says, "Nope, don't need that." We make plans, God laughs. We're ready to jump to the front and do something for God in a big way. He says, "Wait a few years. I have to humble you a bit. I've got time." Paul, too, after being instantly converted on the road to Damascus, spent the next 12 years or so relearning everything he thought he already knew. That was why, many years later, he could honestly say that the rich heritage he had been "blessed" with was worthless. God had to spend years undoing all that Paul had spent years becoming.

So often, I want God to do something - NOW. I want instant wisdom, instant forgiveness, instant love, instant fruitfulness, and my frustration is high when He appears to be taking His time. God is showing me that a few years in the dessert may be just what I need.

Stop Complaining - Numbers 11

Numbers 11 begins with the people complaining to Moses how sick they were of manna - the miraculous gift God provided every day to sustain them in the desert.

So God sends quail. He promised them meat they would eat until it came out of their noses and became loathsome to them, because they rejected the blessing He was already pouring out on them.

It goes on to say that while they were chewing the new found bounty, they were struck with a plague and buried for their greed.

There's a lesson in here somewhere!

So here's my struggle - stop complaining. Not forever, of course. I can't make that kind of commitment! But what if I didn't complain today? What if I went just one day without complaining and lived a life of praise instead? What if I put all of my complaints aside, just until I go to bed tonight, and give myself permission to complain later? And what if I make this same commitment tomorrow?

Can I do it? Can I fast from complaining and praise God instead? We'll see!

Believing God for our homeschool year

I simply CANNOT believe we're going on our fifth year of homeschooling. After 4 years, I think I finally feel like I know what I'm doing, but next year, when Chandler hits high school (NOT POSSIBLE) everything changes. So feeling somewhat confident today, doesn't help for long.

So what do I have to show for 4 completed years?
~more books than I know what to do with
~sleepless nights when I woke in a panic that I am ruining my children's future
~flat-on-my-face prayers for strength and wisdom
~true recognition and acceptance of my girl's strengths and weakness
~humility when I admit that what I am doing is not working
~fear that I am doing it all wrong
~repositioned priorities
~heartbreak from time to time

So why then do I do it?

God asked me to. For some reason, He thinks I can do this. I think He's wrong. I've asked Him to release me from this calling more times than I can count. Yet here I am.

This past week, I ran into Hebrews 3:12 - See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God.

I've come to see that I am unbelieving. I don't believe God when He says I can do this, through His strength. I don't believe that He will fill in where I am weak, that He will gloss over my failures, that He will teach my children what I cannot.

So that is my prayer for the year. Help my unbelief. Once again, God, I'm giving this back to you. You asked my to do this. I'm trusting you.

I realize this post makes homeschooling my children seem all heartache and no reward and that is certainly not true. In truth, there is much joy as I get to spend all day with my girls molding and shaping their character, seeing them blossom into beautiful young women, growing in their relationship with the Lord. There is the joy I experience when I see them loving learning and grasping something previously beyond their reach. For the flip side of this angst ridden post, see my other blog.

God is good.

Proverbs 19:22

"...better to be poor than a liar."

This verse has intrigued me for some time, ever since I heard the Crystal Lewis song Only Fools that quotes it. What does it mean that it is better to be poor than a liar? Are those are only choices? Is it really an either or? And how do these two concepts relate anyways.

But recently, I saw the whole verse.

"What a man desires is unfailing love;
better to be poor than a liar."

Now it makes much more sense. Our truest, deepest desire is for unfailing love - which only comes from God. Yet we fill it with... stuff, people, relationships, accolades, accomplishments, identity, knowledge, reputations... I could go on. But the writer of Proverbs lays out the simple truth. It is better to have none of that - to be poor - and acknowledge the truth - what I really want is unfailing love.

I want to grasp this. I would rather be poor in the things this world has to offer than be a liar and believe they can fill my deepest longing.

Forgiving Seventy-Seven Times

Here's a thought:

I was talking to my mom the other day about the fact that I am discovering that forgiveness is a process, not a one-time occurance. In other words, you may forgive someone today and have to do it again tomorrow. She said I should post that thought.

All of which lead me to rethink Matthew 18:21-22,
"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

I know these verses are typically interpreted to mean that we may have to forgive someone over and over for many different offenses, and I believe that is basically correct.

But what if Jesus is referring to forgiving someone over and over again for the SAME offense... What if He is giving us a pattern to follow because He knows how our hearts work? We sincerely forgive, but find ourselves, at some later time, dredging up the old hurt and anger. So we have to forgive again. And again. And again.

I am sure Jesus is talking to me here.

Dennis Prager - Do you believe in Hell?

Today I listened to a podcast from Dennis Prager on the subject of Hell. He stated that since he believed in a just God, there must be some form of punishment and reward in the afterlife. He wasn't sure if Hell was really a lake of burning fire, or if the punishment would be eternal, but he couldn't possible fathom a righteous and loving God allowing Hitler and Mother Theresa to have the same posthumous fate.

Callers began to call in with their belief for or against the idea of Hell. Each had their own opinion of what it was, who would go there and why, and what level of punishment would be fair.

All somewhat interesting comments, but I kept thinking, "Who cares what you think? What does God say?" After all, it's not like we get a vote! Who cares if I think Hell is a literal place of burning torture and all who reject God's loving advances in this life are constrained to an eternity without Him. My opinion is worthless. It's just thoughts in my head, but notice that I offered no sources, no evidence, no authority. None of the callers mentioned any Scripture either.

I think this idea we Americans have that our opinions matter and are all equally valid has spilled over into the religious arena. Too often, I hear Christians debating theological points by beginning their statements, "Well, I think..." Who cares?!? What does Scripture say?

I would say a very large majority of churches are complicit in advancing the notion that we can debate and vote on Scriptural principles, and that everyone's opinion is just that with no one opinion holding more or less weight. I don't think too many churches respond with, "Well, it doesn't really matter what you think or believe, what does the Bible say?" when faced with difficult circumstances. In fact, many times, responding with Scripture is an anathema to those in leadership. They don't want the Bible thrown in their faces.

There is actually a Biblical model for using the truth of Scripture... but that's another post! Suffice it to say that the Bible MUST be the absolute foundation for our thoughts and beliefs. Without that, we have set our ownselves up as authorities. And that is what is known as idol worship.

Drew Bowles (Parkcrest) - React with praise

Parkcrest is going through Acts and delving into the ways of the early church.

Acts 16:16-40 tells the story of Paul and Silas getting dragged into prison, quite unfairly for casting out a demon. Their reaction is one of praise as they sat in the pitch darkness of a horrific dungeon.

Oh, I know that wouldn't have been my reaction!

I have been struggling lately with the idea of how I react. I know I often react very badly and not at all the way God would have wanted me to. But I also know, like so many things, learning to react and how to react is a process. He's teaching me not to fly off into my own way of thinking, but to seek Him for direction.

But that takes time! In the moment, as situations unfold, our reactions are often instant. I haven't yet figured out how to know exactly the way God wants me to react in the heat of the moment.

That's where the brilliance of this passage comes in. It's so simple, I missed it. They didn't react, rather they took the time to praise God - at that instant. In the time they were praising and praying, God showed up, literally as an earthquake freed them from their bonds and ultimately led to the salvation of the jailer and his family.

That's it! If I can simply react to whatever gets thrown in my path by praising God, my own fleshly reaction can have time to simmer down and I give God space to show up. How many times have I crowded out the Holy Spirit because I am so busy responding in whatever way just pops out of me? Simply praising God rather than answering back in the flesh - that's gonna be hard!

Mike Goldsworthy, Hebrews, and Andy Stanley - You'll never be good enough

So I put all those names in the title because usually when God hits me something, He does it over and over (see the Peter connection here?).

Last Saturday, Mike Goldsworthy of Parkcrest was talking about the obstacles the early church put in the way of the new believers. I braced myself for a typical "Isn't the church awful and don't we throw up a lot of obstacles to non-believers?" kind of sermon. But once again, he surprised me and didn't go that route. Instead he talked about the obstacles we throw up in front of ourselves in our journey of faith.

He talked about the idolatry of identity. We want a purpose and significance. But anything other than living a Christ-centered life is sin.

Then he hit me with the obstacle of religion. This is the idea that we can earn our salvation. Now I know I can't earn my salvation, but I definitely struggle with the thought that I can be good enough that God will find me acceptable.

Since I've always lived a "good girl" sort of life, I generally believe I deserve whatever blessings come my way. I've followed the rules and continue to try to follow them. Obviously God owes me, right? Hear how awful that sounds? I'm very close at times to believing that I don't really even need God's grace. After all, I haven't screwed up in any major way. This leads me to such judgementalism where I want to tell other, Stop screwing up. Just do everything right. How hard is that?

But as he was talking I realized that the fact that I have been able to lead a "good girl" life at all is because of His grace. If life is like a race, I was born a step from the finish line and figured I was an Olympian athlete. God gave me every advantage - great family, raised in church, never in poverty, good schools, great influences. I actually had no excuse NOT to live a good life. Now I dare to take credit for what He gave me! Instead of looking down my nose on those struggling in the race, I should be the one helping them along. Just who do I think I am anyway?

Now we are studying Hebrews, a book written to Jewish Christians who were tempted to turn back to the law. Living under grace was too easy. They had to DO something to EARN God's love and acceptance. I identify.

Then Andy Stanley talked about working for the Lord. It's not WHAT we do that brings us significance, it's WHO we are doing it for.

The fact the God loves me and has accepted me no matter what, that it is not dependent on anything I do, and is only dependent on Christ's death is somewhat incomprehensible to me. It can't be ME that He loves, it's the me that follows the rules, right?

Oh, I gotta wrap my mind around this one.